February is Black History Month. A memorial and remembrance to raise social consciousness of the advances and struggles of being american during a time of revolution for african americans. A time of acknowledgement of those who have paved the way for the privileges that we are afforded in this day and time. A time to look at our history and reflect and appreciate where we are today. To teach our children about tolerance.
I would like to share my story. I had taken my daughter to our primary care physician for a physical and while sitting in the waiting area along with other women with their small children there sat a woman with a newborn baby and her little boy who looked to be around five years old. The little boy stared across the room at me and my daughter and then whispered loud enough to his mother that everyone in the room heard him, this question “Mom, what’s wrong with those ladies skin, why do they look like that”. His mother tried to ignore him, but he started to ask again, she shuffled the baby in her lap and reached over to her little boy and rubbed the top of his head. I looked across the room since I was interested in hearing the answer since he was asking a question about me and my daughter to see what she would tell him.
This is what she said “Honey do you know Mark’s parents and you know how Mrs. so and so is like us and Mr. so and so is darker like the two ladies, its the same thing”. Now I tried to wrap my brain around that explanation but for some reason it caused me to grit my jaw bone. My daughter then whispered to me, ‘he doesn’t know what black people look like,how is that possible mom”.
There it was my first racial dilemma right there in the doctor’s office waiting area. Two parents with questions being posed by their children. I told my daughter we would discuss it in the car. There was an overwhelming discomfort in the room because other parents were listening in. I tried not to judge that mother as I am sure she wasn’t expecting to have to answer the question in a room full of people. I felt embarrassed for her. I felt that he had asked her before and she still hadn’t answered him correctly.
Well I made sure to use that as a moment to teach my daughter about tolerance, sacrifice, advancement, respect. When we got home I explained to her the importance of diversity, it opened up a conversation to explain to her that I had chosen to live in a more diverse community so that she could have a wide perspective on different cultures. My daughter has an international set of friends that have many different racial makeups, african-american, hispanics, indians and chinese and californians, that’s my daughters joke not mines. She doesn’t know anything other than the world she has lived in and been exposed to.
This did not happen in February and it didn’t happen in 1969, it happened in 2011. I celebrate Black History month every chance that I get. It’s important that you talk to your children because clearly by this example they can be confused and not have a understanding of something as simple as the color of skin. So this is a continuous life course of tolerance and understanding.
Wisdom is nothing without understanding.
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HE SAID SHE SAID 