What She Really Wants in the Bedroom?

Men are from  Mars and women are from Venus?  Needless to say both sexes can be challenged in figuring out what makes the other tick.  Men are just as emotional as women they just hide it better.  It might surprise men and women that most of us are not even touching the surface of what a woman or man really wants, especially in the bedroom.  Today’s subject is about the ladies and don’t worry fellas you got next.

This site is just a great fun way to express your thoughts and to get some vital information on the subject.  I have several men and women who will add their thoughts and I would like to invite you to follow this site, add your comments, tell us something we don’t know and let’s get the conversation going. Send me an email at saywhatkelly@yahoo.com on any subject you would like to see featured.  A new subject will be featured each week to keep things fresh so make your submissions by emailing me.

Yes, women are complicated and I would like to tell you fella’s the truth, that you are right.  We are never satisfied with what we are getting. We want more, more, more.  Its true, especially in the bedroom.  So here’s the deal, you have to know the woman who you are with, unfortunately for you, there is no other way to know who she is except to really pay attention to her.

Women are detail oriented especially when it comes to their man in the bedroom, we know how many strokes it takes, how long it will take you to hit your level and the exact signature move that gets you there.  Pay close attention to this fella’s because if the signature move that your woman uses is happening within 3-5 minutes of going in – she’s bored with you. Boredom eventually equates to unhappiness.  You’ve got work to do.   First, figure out the signature move. Get back to me on this.

Here’s a relatable example – you like your nipples licked, caressed, pinched, whatever – she focuses on that, you’re done and its over.  She’s bored and you haven’t brought her to orgasm.   You fall asleep and she’s up cleaning the house, she’s frustrated and unsatisfied. You didn’t finish the job.  So think about this, there are many different scenarios that can apply to you, but in general that’s what happens.  Here’s another clue, after you’re done, she should either want more or both of you should be on a short snooze.  When you orgasm your body needs time to regenerate and sleep is how it does that, if she ain’t sleep and she ain’t asking for more, then you ain’t finish the job.

Here’s another clue it’s true that there could be a medical issue going on with her about why your woman may not be that into you.  For this post, let’s just say that’s not the case.  So she never wants to have sex with you, she’s making excuses of all kinds or conveniently sleep when you come in.  Here’s what I know – if you never bring her to orgasm every time you have sex with your woman, then she thinks you are selfish and an unskilled lover and she lacks interest in not being satisfied.  A woman’s thought is if I go to the dance and I don’t get to dance why go.  Translation – If we have sex and I don’t get an orgasm then I’m not trying to have sex with you.  She is sleep when you get home because she is dreaming of the day when she will get an orgasm. This is no joking matter.  There ain’t no need for her to waste her efforts on you.  Its true fella’s and yes eventually this will cause the demise of your relationship. You ain’t getting none and she ain’t getting none equals getting some from other people.  Please believe this fellas and ladies.   Men you should know that women can get wonderful, fantastic, self-inflicted orgasms that are mind-blowing so we don’t always need you to be there, I know, sad but true.  Yes, I’m talking about sex toys and you should worry.  Not that she’s using them, but that she feels she has to if she’s honest enough to admit it.  Either way, you should always look to incorporate this into your experience.  I know you want to believe that you are stroking the kitty right but I’m telling you that’s not always the case.  I bet you have noticed on a few occasions that you didn’t even sweat her hair out.  Sex toys are your friend. Embrace them. You can cut your sessions in half and still be the man, I’m telling you.  You heard the song, “I just want a quickie”.

It takes the average woman a minimum of 20 minutes just to get all worked up.  So you need at least 30-45 minutes or longer to bring her to orgasm.  So fella’s get the time right, the next time you get into it, put a timer on the dresser.  Pay attention!  That does not mean 30-45 minutes of pounding her out.  Wrong!  It means that you should incorporate the foreplay, whatever that is for you and her because the big moment is not going to take that long for you, but for her that’s another story.  If you put the time in to make it happen for her, you will have a happy home.

So you think because you brought your hot body to the bed that’s all the foreplay that’s needed, you better think again.  By the way, that’s if you’re still hot which interprets to her that you are already five minutes ahead of the game and she’s ready to go. But fella’s if you don’t have that hot body anymore and your six-pack is more like a two pack and a keg then you have a five-minute deficit. News Flash! women are visual too and we have a mental image of that once hot body you used to have and the sweetness that you once were to help us along, so you’re going to have to work that winning personality or show her your cute ass or whatever your best asset is.  I know you guys have things you like in a woman, but we talking about the ladies today. You can overcome these obstacles because at the end of the day it’s all in the foreplay for her.  Men listen to me, 99 percent of the women I know all say the same thing, making love to me starts in the mind, you have to let her know that you want to make love to her before you even get home from work, that’s half the battle.  If you don’t know how to sexy talk her then you need to learn, it’s where the foreplay begins. Women love it.  By the way, I have a site specifically designed for sexy talk too, you can hit me up on my email for more information and that’s for both men and women, because the women need to learn this too.

Now women do realize that men are visual creatures, you want a plump ass, perky breasts, soft skin, kissable lips, an hour-glass figure, you want a combination of  elegance and class a pretty smile and big ass with a touch of street smarts, tall, petite, etc, The list goes on.  Some of you have the nerve to put stipulations on the relationship based on your personal specifications.  If you were with someone and they were skinny and got fat, or fat and got skinny then you have to find a way to love the one you’re with especially if you’re married to them.  If you make a woman feel unattractive to you, you ain’t getting none.  It’s your job to build her confidence no matter what size she is.  You’re allowed to tell her how you feel it might be a motivating factor to get her to a better place, but do it with love. Most of all keep on making love to her while she is going through the process.  If she has given birth to yours or someone else’s children then she has contributed to society by creating life and you have no right to make her feel bad about the result of that.   For my women, get out of your head with the negativity, there is beauty in every size, shape or whatever you see as your shortcomings.  Like my grandmother used to tell me, a man don’t care about nothing but what’s in the middle anyhow.  I know you’re thinking why would my grandmother say that to me.   I was a teenager being teased for being tall and skinny. I got called chicken legs and would cry about it and so I guess she thought those words would comfort me one day.  When she said it I hadn’t discovered my middle yet.  This duck is now a swan.  LOL!   – I have to say this ladies, I am an advocate for good health and  I believe you have to work hard to keep yourself  feeling and looking good.  No man wants a woman who let’s herself go, it’s not that you are at the size you are that he really cares about, it’s when you don’t care about yourself that’s unattractive to him.   Keep it sexy is my mantra.  We are not all eye candy but we as women all have the candy.  You’ve got to work what you’ve got.

If your woman is walking around calling you a tired selfish ass it’s not because you didn’t take out the garbage, the underlined problem is because you haven’t given her an orgasm in a really long time and because of your shallow ego system she can’t tell you that because then she won’t get the little you are giving her and you know the old saying “something is better than nothing”.   I can tell you that on average if you are being called selfish at any time in the relationship you need to interpret that as you not doing something that she needs you to do and more than likely its sex.  Here you are sitting there confused because you say I go to work, I provide and just because I didn’t take the garbage out I’m selfish.  No, it’s because you didn’t and haven’t made love to her right in a long time.  The next time she starts complaining, let her.  Then respond by taking her in the bedroom and stroke the kitty. Peace will rein.  It is true all we need is love and lots of it.

So you say how do I know if she has an orgasm.  Well just like women all orgasms are not created equal – here are a few hints:

Intensity in breathing,  screaming, her telling you that she’s having one, a faster or slower pace, she’s in a spasm, she asks to be placed in the signature position,  in any case it doesn’t go down quietly, look at her face that a really big telltale sign.   That beautiful queen should resemble something that looks like a ewok or some other creature you can’t describe. The ugly sexy face.  LOL:)

I would like to offer you a prescription:  30-45 minutes – Prescription breakdown 15 minutes- if you want her to freak it, then speak it but be ready to do the same,  during that time you should be saying sexy, provocative, nasty things you want her to do to you or you want to do to her, nobody likes quiet sex, let me reiterate if you happy and you know say my name.    Both of you are hot now, but don’t rush into it – ok, well maybe you can see what it feels like – give it a poke, see if she’s ready but don’t give in make her wait. Whatever boring ass position you normally do, flip it to another position. I’m serious fella’s don’t ask her either, tell her. Take the cat by the tail – that’s funny:)  You should experience at least three or four different positions during the act.  Now can you see how this can make it to 45 minutes, handle it.  If it goes longer then you are doing it right, just don’t get lost in the sauce.  Make sure she’s comfortable, properly lubricated and you are on your way to relationship bliss.  Depending on your woman you may have to do this everyday, but on average 3 days per week will keep you out of the dog house and with unlimited refills.

Here’s a tip:  None of what I have said will work if you are disrespecting her regularly, but I believe you can change.  Follow me if you want to know how.

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These are my expressed views, I don’t need you to agree with them, but if you want to talk about it and hear from others on this and discuss other relationship topics this is the place to do it.